Why oh why blues
May 18th 2008 22:03
I've had one of the dreaded "why oh why am I doing this to myself" days. I'm sure every fiction writer has them, even though I hope they'll occur less often after publication.
When the why of why blues hits me, I temporarily change sides and join the people who tell me that I will not make it as a writer and that I'd best concentrate on the career I could actually have. Since I moved to the UK for a much better job, they even have a genuine point, and sometimes I can't help thinking that I should focus all my energy on the day job.
I know the routine now and go through all the motions - it's a lot less painful that way. In the end I reach the conclusion that I will never write another word, only to change my mind again 5 minutes later.
I think I have to give up writing occasionally to remind myself how much it means to me.
When the why of why blues hits me, I temporarily change sides and join the people who tell me that I will not make it as a writer and that I'd best concentrate on the career I could actually have. Since I moved to the UK for a much better job, they even have a genuine point, and sometimes I can't help thinking that I should focus all my energy on the day job.
I know the routine now and go through all the motions - it's a lot less painful that way. In the end I reach the conclusion that I will never write another word, only to change my mind again 5 minutes later.
I think I have to give up writing occasionally to remind myself how much it means to me.
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